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Abusive Behaviors
Relationship violence includes not only physical and sexual abuse but also extends to other forms of threatening and harmful behaviors.
Learn more about the various forms of abuse.
Forms of Abuse
Physical abuse entails the deliberate use of force, unwanted physical contact, or proximity to someone’s body in a manner that causes injury or puts them in danger. Even actions that don’t result in visible harm are unacceptable and constitute abuse.
Physical abuse includes:
- Punching, slapping, heading, kicking, pinching, pulling hair, biting, etc.
- nice it worked preventing them from eating or sleeping
- Damaging property or throwing things
- Using weapons to threaten or harm them
- Blocking a door or restraining them to prevent them from leaving
- Harming children or pets
- Forcing the use of drugs or alcohol
- Grabbing their face, throat or neck
Sexual abuse involves pressuring, coercing, or forcing someone into sexual activity or acts, which may involve the use of drugs or alcohol. Any form of sexual engagement without consent is never acceptable, regardless of marital or relationship status.
Sexual abuse includes:
- Demanding or coercing sex
- Forcing uncomfortable sexual acts
- Causing physical harm during sex
- Involving others in sex without consent
- Insulting them in sexual ways
- Ignoring their feelings regarding sex
- Forcing them to watch pornography
- Purposefully trying to transmit an STD
- Forcing them to dress in a sexual way
Emotional, psychological, and verbal abuse comprise behaviors such as threatening, gaslighting, teasing, manipulating, and yelling, among others, that do not involve physical harm. Despite the absence of physicality, it is never acceptable to use words or actions to intimidate, humiliate, or frighten an individual.
Emotional abuse includes:
- Criticizing them constantly
- Blaming them for everything
- Confusing them to distort their sense of reality
- Attacking their self-esteem and self-worth
- Threatening to expose their secrets
- Name-calling, insulting, and mocking
- Yelling and screaming
- Embarrassing or humiliating them in public
- Criticizing or diminishing their accomplishments
- Forcing them to do something using threats
- Acting excessively jealous or possessive
- Constantly accusing them of flirting or cheating
In the digital era, relationship violence extends to digital abuse via the internet, text messages, and social media platforms. Despite the absence of physical harm, it is unacceptable to engage in digital behaviors such as cyberbullying, harassment, stalking, or intimidation.
Digital abuse includes:
- Dictating who can or can’t be friends on their social media
- Sending insulting or threatening messages
- Using technology to monitor their location or activities
- Sending or demanding unwanted, explicit images
- Stealing their passwords or personal information
- Spreading rumors about them on social media
- Constantly texting or messaging them to instill fear
- Looking at their text, calls, or photos
One of the more subtle forms of relationship violence, Financial abuse, is also the most common. It involves leveraging money to assert power and control, which may include preventing someone from working, pursuing education, accessing money, or participating in financial decisions. It is never acceptable to manipulate or control someone’s finances, their spending, or their earning potential.
Financial abuse includes:
- Denying them access to personal or family income
- Forbidding or limiting work education
- Causing them to lose their job
- Stealing their money or property
- Refusing to work or contribute to the household
- Confiscating individual or joint tax returns
- Refusing to pay for Necessities or shared expenses
- Forcing them to sign financial documents
- Making them account for every cent spent
Stalking entails the repeated observation, pursuit, or harassment of an individual, often with the intention of monitoring or instilling fear. It is never acceptable to monitor their locations, activities, or movements without their explicit consent, whether in person or via technology.
Stalking includes:
- Following or tracking their location
- Spying on or watching them with hidden cameras
- Monitoring their movements and interactions
- Suddenly showing up without being invited
- Cyberstalking through text, email, apps, or social media
- Monitoring their use of a computer or mobile device
- Repeatedly calling and hanging up
- Contacting their friends and family seeking their location
Reproductive abuse entails coercing or controlling decisions regarding birth control, contraceptives, pregnancy, and childbirth. It is never acceptable to deprive individuals of their right to make these choices autonomously.
Reproductive abuse includes:
- Refusing to use a condom of birth control
- Removing, breaking, or tampering with a condom
- Lying about birth control (vasectomy, pill, Etc.)
- Forcing pregnancy or an abortion
- Continually keeping them pregnant
- Sabotaging birth control
One of the less addressed types of relationship violence is spiritual or religious abuse. This involves denying individuals the freedom to practice their own beliefs or coercing them into adopting another’s beliefs. Everyone has the fundamental right to believe and practice as they choose, and it is never acceptable to infringe upon that right.
Spiritual abuse includes:
- Coercing them into practicing religious or spiritual beliefs
- Preventing them from practicing religious or spiritual beliefs
- Using their religious or spiritual beliefs for manipulation
- Ridiculing their religious or spiritual beliefs
- Forcing religious or spiritual beliefs on children
